When I was around the age of twelve I remember thinking that life was not fair. My young mind could not understand why I had to be responsible for helping my parents learn English when I could barely speak it myself. I did not understand why I had to call to make appointments or call random strangers I did not know, about business issues I was unfamiliar with. All I wanted was to be like the rest of my peers who were white and whose parents were doctors or architects, and did everything for their children instead of having their children do everything for their them. Little did I know, how privileged I actually was. As a second generation child, I have privilege my parents did not have while growing up in Mexico. In a sense, I had more power than they did. Both of my parents looked onto me to get the help they needed in order to successfully "fit in". You see, neither of them were allowed to even finish middle school because their families needed them to work instead. Neither of them knew as much English as I did at the time. Neither of them had the opportunity of growing up in a privileged country like I did. Although in my mind I was the least privileged, in their minds, at twelve years of age, I was something in a country they were not; privileged. Throughout middle school and high school, I was really impacted because I finally began to understand who I was in comparison with those around me. I was not the average student. Instead, I was born in a Mexican traditional home, only taught Spanish, only taught Latin values and morals and yet lived within an American-dominant culture. Although it was truly challenging to balance my childhood and adolescence as a Latina in an American city with little diversity, as I got older I was no longer embarrassed or ashamed of being different than everyone else as I began to find uniqueness in my identity and find pride in the Chicana I am.
Family is everything to me. Growing up, my three younger siblings and I only learned Mexican traditions and values; family and God being very important. Although we have been educated and normalized into the American culture, our core values and traditions stem from our parent's beliefs. My nuclear family is a traditional two-parent household with high levels of labor force participation from my dad. My mom ("Mami") was a stay at home mom for my siblings and I; though we could not afford it, until we were old enough to attend public school. Mami wanted us to be "taught" by her and wanted to provide a Mexican traditional lifestyle for us so that when we got old enough to attend public school, we never forgot where we came from and who we were. Within the Latino culture, mom stays at home and "raises" the children while the father works to provide for the household. Mami is the heart of the family: the one who cooks, cleans, and always "knows best". Similar responsibilities were expected from my other sister and I as it was our job to learn how to be a women from Mami as we got older. Though my extended family is very large and family gatherings seem like overwhelmingly giant parties to the average person, to us; food, music, laughter and story telling is a very normal part of our family gatherings. The importance of family is not really ever taught in a sense, it's simply learned. For example, families tend to live around the same neighborhoods or areas and the value of family over individual needs is greatly emphasized. Although modern times often cause changes, I believe Mexican families will always be rooted in tradition, as is mine. Because of this, I believe I carry myself the way I do.
Maybe one day I was embarrassed to be the only Latina in my classroom because of the school I went to, however, because of the strong family traditions that were embedded in me so young, I have had the opportunity to be challenged and pushed in order to find my own identity over the years in ways I am now very thankful for. Since I have lived in the U.S my entire life, I cannot say that I am solely influenced by my Latin culture; even though that was all I was taught. I am proud and privileged to be a U.S citizen. I realize I have opportunities my parents never had. My parents have worked so hard to succeed here in America to give my siblings and I a better life than what they had. God's purpose of bringing my family to the United States has brought struggles and hardships, in addition to countless blessings and wonderful opportunities. I cannot imagine another life. I am thankful and full of gratitude and love for God because He's allowed these experiences to shape the person I have become.
Abi
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