I was introduced to the world on January 25, 1997 at 6:30 AM in St Joseph hospital after nearly choking on my umbilical cord. My mom had been on the verge of panic when the doctor shared this news with her, but my dad had calmed her down when he told her that, "If Derek's life was in serious danger, they would have woken me up from my nap and told me before they told you." He had fallen asleep in a chair next to my mom because of how long I was taking to be born and the doctor hadn't woken him up before telling my mom the frightening news.
I was 18 months old when my sister Kayla was born. We lived in Bellevue until I was five, and my parents decided to move to Lynden to be closer to my Aunt Kate and Uncle Cliff. In the fall my parents enrolled me in a private school called Lynden Christian School, where I received my education and earned my High School Diploma.
Growing up I rarely saw my mom's parents and brother. Her parents are very selfish people and my parents don't like them being near my sister and I, but I don't know why my mom and her brother don't have a relationship. My mom's sister Kari visited us when I was younger, but when I was four a rift grew between her and my mom and I didn't see her again until I was eleven and she continues to visit us when she can.
I've only seen my dad's biological sister Kim four times during my life. She and my dad never got along when they were younger and have no relationship. My dad's father lived with us in an apartment that my parents built on their property in Lynden for ten years, but he had a heart attack when I was fifteen and moved to an assisted living home. After moving he shut out my family and I have not seen him for five years now. My dad's mom, Oma (Dutch for grandma), often visited when I was young. When I was ten, she was diagnosed with cancer and fought for more than one year before seven tumors caused her body to shut down, putting her in a coma and killing her.
I have not built a relationship with my biological grandparents. While my dad was growing up, he grew very close to Ritz and Pearl Tadema, two of Oma's very close friends who immigrated from the Netherlands to America with her. Pake and Beppe (grandma and grandpa in Frisian) loved my dad as if he were their own son and have claimed him as their son ever since Oma died. Dad also loved pake and beppe's seven kids like siblings and they love him as their brother. While my dad was dating my mom, he introduced her to them and wanted them to "approve of her".
Not only did pake and beppe "approve of my mom", they immediately loved her and thoroughly showed and expressed that love to her as they got to know her. When my mom was 27 years old, they informally adopted her into their family and she severed all emotional ties to her biological parents. Nowadays when my family is all together, family friends get confused when they meet my parents. For example, pake and beppe will introduce my mom as their daughter, my aunt Billie (she prefers Billie because it "sounds tougher" than her real name Karen, she's not a transvestite or lesbian, just a spitfire) will introduce my dad as her brother, and my parents will introduce themselves as husband and wife, unintentionally leading people to believe that they're brother and sister.
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